The Comic Call

Free Write #1

Tue, 05 Feb 2013 20:07:25 -0500

I need an outlet to write. I don’t pay enough attention to this blog anymore. All of my focus has turned to the podcast and as much as I’d like to, I don’t have the time to nurture this blog. So I’ve decided to make it my place to write and share my thoughts that don’t make it on the microphone, but seem to work out well on paper… or screens made of one’s and zero’s.

So I just found this piece of paper, which was riddled with the most fucked up penmanship. As I de-cyphered it like it was the fucking DaVinci code I became amazed at the things I write to myself at certain times of my life. For the most part, free writing isn’t meant to be shared. It’s more for the practice of spilling words onto paper and screens. it requires no proper grammar or punctuation. It is simply an exercise to keep you in the habit of writing. You might just be amazed with what pops up from the depths of your mind. And even more so when you read them much later. It’s like you’re telling you future self how it’s going to be. And then you look at your past self and say “HOW THE FUCK DID YOU KNOW THAT?”

Anyway… ENJOY!

Time to play! All the things that come to mind as I write. Beautiful day today. Who the hell am I kidding, cold as a mother fucker. Like being inside of a deep freezer with nothing, and I mean nothing there to warm you up. Unless you go Ape. And by that I mean working like you live in a jungle. You gotta work hard to stay warm mother fucker. Those feet gotta keep moving and FUCK layers. All that does is make you sweat so go light, go thermal. You know! Don’t fucking cheap out either. You’re making money, guy! Earn the shit. Show me why you deserve to be among some of the most fortunate class citizens living on the face of this globe. Don’t get me wrong I know money makes things nicer. But you don’t have to go far in the opposite direction to see just how fucking lucky you are. I was born into a middle class life and God fucking bless me if I can say that I’ll die in one. Is there anything else, yeah!

I haven’t even cracked the egg yet on this one. I enjoy the flow of words being spilled on paper before my eyes as I allow myself to let thoughts unfold. Should I dedicate my life to a life in construction? I don’t think it’s logical. I had the idea to allow my experience, the past ten years, as the fuel to burn my writing passion. My passion for comedy. My passion to bring joy and laughter to the hearts of many. I possess a contagious smile, infectious, hard to pass up on exchanging. A good old smile with me, I say! It could help make your day! My pleasure!

I feel close to something, just close enough to where it’s at the point where I can…

END

Hey, it is what it is! Time is a mother fucker and we all got shit to do. Try this shit for ten minutes a day and stop when the time is done… if you want. Pick up on the thought later or just say FUCK IT and start some new shit tomorrow. You don’t know what may be in the old head of yours.

Thanks!

Peace!

Purple monkey dishwasher.

BloodySport... a #DEATHSQUAD / #HigherPrimate film

Thu, 21 Jun 2012 00:54:00 -0400

I won’t go as far to say that something like this is impossible, which is why I decided to share. This was a ton of fun to conjure up. Back in high school drama class, a friend and I were discussing all time favorite movies. Being a boy, growing up at the time I did (especially with two brothers and a dad who idolized the WWF) Bloodsport was among the top favs. Which is when the idea was presented to me that Bloodsport, when watched through comedic eyes, was in essence, the equivalent of a parody film. Such as Airplane,Hot Shots, Naked Gun, and other National Lampoon style films. I’ve always enjoyed parody films, even later ones like Scary Movie. You may not agree, but from the thin story line and cheesy B movie acting, Bloodsport IS a comedy. Which is why I think a film like this pretty much writes itself. Being a big fan of the Deathsquad community of comics and podcasts, filled in the blank of making a parody film out a Bloodsport, something that could actually work. Just taking Joe Rogan and his involvement in MMA and Comedy has got me thinking, “Why is this not already being written?” I strongly believe that if Higher Primate Studios wanted to. It could achieve in theaters, what Adam Sandler has done with Happy/Madison Productions. I will treat this blog entry as the “planting of a seed” and if any of the comics mentioned in my ideal cast for such a film, fancy the idea, maybe it could actually get the pot stirring. A dream come true, it would be, to be able to take a part in making…movie magic.

Duncan Trussell

as Frank Dux

Joey Diaz

as Ray Jackson

Little Esther

as Janice Kent

Ari Shaffir

as Heler

Freddy Lockhart

as Rawlins

Jean Claude Van Damme

as Senzo Tanaka

Yoshi Obayashi

as Captain Chen

Brian Redban

as Young Frank Dux

Bolo Yeung

as Chong Li… again

Bobby Lee

as Victor Lin

Maz Jobrani

as Sadiq Hussein

Joe Rogan

as The Official Commentator of the Kumite

Fighters at the Kumite would obviously be other deathquad family comics, such as… Tom Segura, Bert Kreischer, Brendon Walsh ect.

Taking on UFC fighters, such as… Urijah Faber, Anderson Silva, Wanderlei Silva ect.

And several cameos by podcast guests, such as… Eddie Bravo, Daniel Bolelli, Shane Smith ect.

Flesh Light

The Official Sponsor of the Kumite

….and Harley Davidson

The only motorcycle worthy of being at the Kumite

If you would watch a film like this in the theaters, let it be known. Spread the word and let your favorite comics know. It’s about time these hard working comedians started getting more exposure, to whom which they honorably deserve. If not, I hope this at least brought a laugh to your day.

Peace!

Wooooo Hoooooo

Wed, 06 Jun 2012 01:04:29 -0400

Growing up as the fat kid has always, and will always, come with its challenges. I learned early in life (as early as I became fat… gr.2) that if kids were going to accept you being the fat kid, and even choose to be your friend. You definitely couldn’t be the weird kid or smelly kid too. The poor kid is okay, you can talk your way out of that shit. So I stopped picking my nose, bathed regularly, and found my way into the hearts of my teachers and peers with comedy. The moment I knew I had the ability to make others laugh I honed in on it. I contributed countless hours of entertainment to my friends in school at the cost of all of our education. So much to the point where if someone were to be having a problem with me and decide to play the fat card and call me names. Others would quickly jump in and defend. “Yo! So what if Joe’s fat. You’re fucking poor, guy.” Then later on, around gr. 5, when my interest in girls was steadily rising. I used my talents as a way into their hearts. It never got me in the shirt/pants/vagina ect. but my signature move of letting them poke me like the Pilsbury Doughboy sure got them touching me. If I got lucky I was able to position my body to get as close as possible to my….. heart (yeah right). This technique eventually got weird as I neared closer to high school and when I got to high school it quickly became unacceptable. But then, a magnificent thing occured. Chris Farley’s Tommy Boy hit the theaters, giving birth to the “Fat Guy In A Little Coat” routine for all of our blessed eyes to see. I was back in the game! Women would flock to me, hand me their jackets asking, “Please Joe, one more time. Do the Fat Guy In A Little Coat routine” Hugs and kisses always followed. I was in their sweet developing hearts again… but still nowhere close to their vagina’s.

To all the BIG comedians out there, thank you! From the bottom of my cholesterol clogged arteries, for giving all us little fat fucks a shot!

Peace

@jOeRangutan

"“… well, la di fricken da …” - Chris Farley"

Wed, 06 Jun 2012 01:04:06 -0400

“

“… well, la di fricken da …”

- Chris Farley

”

-

Master Bait!

Sun, 27 May 2012 21:35:44 -0400

I gotta hand it to those braves comics who put themselves on the front line everytime they go on stage. For being the ones to throw out all of those truths in life that everyone else is to pussy to talk about. I can remember a time when masterbating, jerking, jacking and beating off, choking the chicken… whatever fucking name you call it, was something to be ashamed about. I can remember my Pops fucking around with me asking if I was “playing with my lella” in the shower and me saying “nooooooooooooooooooooooooo” like a whiny little fuck. He’d just laugh and smile. Growing up with two brothers (one older and one younger) didn’t make it any easier when it came to cracking jokes about pulling the old wire. Even in school my boys and I would always try to throw eachother under the bus when one of us were running late. ”Ol Joe is late again… that guy has a 30 minute tug everytime he has a fucking shower!” And I’d just respond with a “fuck you, guy!” Or a “suuuuuure pal.” Now thanks to comedy these days I feel absolutley no way about openly admitting why I’m running late. ”I had to take care of some me time, assholes!” Funny though, as open as I am about it now it does’nt mean that the people in my life are automatically accepting of the fact. Like my older brother for instance always asking me with an almost confused look in his eyes, “Bro! why the hell are you talking about jerking off?” I dont think my mother is a real fan of it either (old fashioned). My dad and little brother though, hilarious. Those two guys have no shame at all. I guess that comes with the confidence of walking around, hung like a mule. Yeah, my little bro is a fucking champ! How do I know? The fucking kid would still walk out of the shower butt naked asking for a towel long after the short curly’s started kicking in. “Bro, don’t you think that your pubes are a sign that you should’nt be doing that anymore?” I’d tell him. Anyway to wrap this butanna (bitch in Italian) I just wanna say to all you freaky deaky comics out there who let it all hang out, thanks! I think it’s time to have a speratz!

In honor of the dice man…. Master Bait!

Searching for porn and your dick gets hard,

you suffer from chronic masturbation.

But when asked to enter a valid credit card,

you have a sudden hesitation!

Peace!

@jOeRangutan

"“When you jerk off, you’re saying “Hey, I care about me.” - Andrew Dice..."

Sun, 27 May 2012 21:11:42 -0400

“

“When you jerk off, you’re saying “Hey, I care about me.”

- Andrew Dice Clay

”

-

Open Mic #1 Fuck it! I’ve been thinking about sharing...

Wed, 23 May 2012 19:54:59 -0400

Open Mic #1

Fuck it! I’ve been thinking about sharing this video for a while but I was walking around with Tic-Tac sized balls in my drawers. Seriously, who wants to share their first humiliating attempt at something, with fucking anybody. Especially when it’s a well accepted fact amongst comedians that every comic eats a bag of dicks when they first start out. I was self conscience about sharing this video with even my closest friends and family for a long time. And here I am, 5 months after this was recorded and sharing it with the World Wide Web, The Internet, Cyberspace. Why the sudden change of heart? Well, for far too long now I was putting off telling anyone about my new found desires. Mainly because I felt that if I told someone, I would have to live up to it, and I didn’t feel confident enough yet. What made me more scared was the idea of telling people I wanted to be a comic and being put on the spot to tell a few jokes. On the contrary, that was, and is the perfect tactic. By thinking about your dream, talking about it, then telling people about it, you are throwing course into action. You are reaping what you sow. I am giving myself the duty to live by my own words and I hope by sharing it with everyone, it will feed a growing obligation to continue this pursuit. Just for the record, if you think I’m wack or not funny, it’s all good! They may be little Tic-Tac sized balls, but they’ll still keep you mouth minty fresh!!

Ari Shaffir swings "The Hammer"

Wed, 09 May 2012 22:18:09 -0400

What a fucking show! If you’re a fan of Ari Shaffir but haven’t seen him perform yet, you’re missing out. I’ve had the pleasure of seeing Ari three times now, in my home town of Toronto. Ari plays a special part in my pursuit of being a comic because he was the first stand up I had ever gone to see. That’s a lie. I’ve seen the likes of Dave Chappelle, Chris Rock, and Louis CK but all of those shows were in a theatre environment. What I mean is, Ari was the first comic who interested me enough to go out to a comedy club. He performed at the Toronto Yuk Yuk’s downtown, a well establish chain of comedy clubs in Canada. The type of club where comics develop what turns into a one hour set. At this point I knew very little about Ari. I didn’t even hear Ari’s Skeptic Tank podcast until after that show. The first time I ever heard of Ari was on Marc Maron’s WTF. I liked what I heard which lead me to eventually catching his name as a guest of The Joe Rogan Experience. His outspoken views on touchy subjects like religion, abortion and drugs have really helped to lighten my mood on otherwise “hairy” subljects. His brilliant and comedic ways of presenting these ideologies make it so that anyone with an open mind can start to see just how “funny” these subjects already are. I’ve been an active fan ever since.

Check out Ari here!

https://twitter.com/#!/AriShaffir

http://www.arithegreat.com/

His last Toronto performance which took place Thursday, May 3rd 2012 was a night of comedy gold. There’s some buzz around the name of this Toronto club and location but out of respect for the owner I prefer not to mention it. The only hint I can give is: The name of the club is a secret. Seriously, that’s the hint. Sounds like bullshit but makes total sense. I had the honor of sitting in the front of the audience with twelve of my closest friends. This small club was at its capacity for this show and the room was filled with non stop laughter from beginning to end. Ari hosted the show and gave more then an hour set to close (from what I can remember). Sitting there, observing and soaking it all in reminded me of my early days as a carpenter apprentice. So eager and excited to learn every possible thing I could, and who best to learn it from than a well experienced comic like Ari Shaffir. As I looked up to this comedian I noticed that just like a Journeyman Carpenter Ari didn’t build this crowd without his trusty “Hammer” at his side.

Performing with Ari were three other comedians. Rob Mailloux, a Toronto based comic. This was my first introduction to Rob and was very impressed. He kept the laughs rolling and brought a confidence to the stage that comes only with experience. I’ve begun following Rob here https://twitter.com/#!/RobLovesArguing on Twitter and have come to learn that he plays a very active role in the Toronto comedy scene. I am now paying attention to Rob and look forward to meeting him one day. These next two comics were brought to my attention in an exciting way. Coming to perform that night by way of Hamilton “The Hammer” Ontario. No, that’s not a UFC fighters name. The Hammer is the nickname of the city Hamilton where these two very cool dudes are from. Manolis Zontanos was cracking up the crowd. It seem liked the audience instantly adored him. This guy stepped up on the stage looking more blazed then I remember looking back in grade 9. Which was fucking hilarious because the first thing he spoke of was how he doesn’t even smoke weed. He trooped through his set like a soldier and from my point of view tapped into a zone which could only be caused by the sweet, sweet ganja. News flash!!! Weed makes everything funnier!!! I connected with Manolis on Twitter https://twitter.com/#!/ManolisZontanos before the show and had a great exchange of words on the topic of comedy. His positive position on his idea of success for a comic was something I found very noble. I learned of Mr. Zantanos through a very funny comic by the name of Pat Coppolino https://twitter.com/#!/PatCoppolino Great story behind meeting this guy that I’ll share in greater depths in another blog, or possibly The Comic Call podcast. If you’ve tuned into all of Ari’s Skeptic Tank podcast you may remember Ari mentioning Pat on more then one occasion. The cool part about finding out about Pat was that I had already been following him on Twitter and already shared a few tweets back and forth with the guy. Mostly just idiotic funny shit, just being a stoner, if you will. Which is why it came as a surprise when I first heard his name mentioned on the pod. I took the first chance to see one of his shows here in Toronto and had a real good time laughing my ass off. Pat opened up the show and you know what, Pat fucking killed!!! And that’s the straight goods. He did a great job the first time I saw him and the best part, next time, he was even better! If you’re a fan of comedy, do yourself a favor, plug yourself in and follow all of these guys on Twitter.

Through the combined forces of The creator of #SHROOMFEST Ari Shaffir, Pat Coppolino, Manolis Zantanos, Rob Mailloux, and a powerful thrust of “The Hammer!” These guys fucking crushed and stamped into the history books, a night of comedy gold.

Okay, I’m fucking done now because I’m tired and have to sleep, because I wake up at stupid fucking 5:00 am and still work construction…. For Now.

BYE

Joe Tuccitto

aka @jOeRangutan

https://twitter.com/#!/jOeRangutan

"Standing On The Danforth"

Sun, 06 May 2012 01:44:22 -0400

It’s amazing how much information there is all around you. I don’t even mean on your phone or the internet. I mean in the people around you. If there’s something that you want to learn about or are interested in, the best thing to do is ask questions and tell people what your interest is. Just after I began taking the step to get out there and give stand up a try (which happened shortly after I began eating magic mushrooms) I started telling people around me what I was doing. The first recommendation for a good open mic in Toronto that I received was from a friend. He told me all about Standing on the Danforth. From what I was told it has been going on for a long time. That it was the type of place that all comedians of different levels come out to test new material. I was a little intimidated because the only other place i had tried open mic had no other comedians. Was my third time on stage going to be at a place that well known and established comedians go to practice? Was I ready for that? “I dunno.” I remember saying. Then my buddy reassured me that it was a real chill environment. He said there’s not many people there and its a well known thing that people are pretty much just fucking around on stage with their note pads up there. So what the hell, next Tuesday rolled around and I went.

“Jo-Anna Downey Presents Standing On The Danforth” takes place Tuesday nights at the Eton House. Located at 710 Danforth Ave. in Toronto, On. Nestled in the heart of Greek town, this place has nothing to do with Greece. I lived a couple blocks away from the bar for three years and never once walked in. There’s many bars and places to eat in the area and never would have though that this amazing show was happening right underneath my nose. FUCK! I was missing out! The show starts at 9:00 p.m. and there is no cover, which works well for cheap fucks like me. All this time and I thought I was getting a deal at the movies. Drinks and food were fairly priced. I suggest this show to anyone who is a fan of the art form or anyone who is just looking for great place to have a drink and a laugh. If you’re a comic and want your go on stage, you’ll have to book a spot.

So I arrive to the Eton House, excited! I was ready to give my third go at an open mic. My nerves were nice and settled because of the stellar jerk off session I had before I left the house. Then I walked in. The bar had many comics in attendance with their note pad and pen in hand. Okay, shit! I was nervous again and masturbation wasn’t an option in a foreign environment. I would have to attend this place at least two times before being comfortable enough to masturbate in the bathrooms. At least one of those visits would have to be for dinner, hey, I got standards. I got up and introduced myself to Jo-Anna and asked where i could put my name on the list to perform that evening. I was a little disappointed when i found out that there was a booking process. All part of the learning process I suppose. I know, I’m a newb. I wasn’t going to leave because of that, though. I had a class session to attend in the form of these hilarious open mic comics. Who all performed amazingly and provided the crowd with a lot of laughs and entertainment. I am pleased to say that i will be attending this bar regularly and am patiently awaiting a confirmation of a date to come and perform.

I feel like a lot was accomplished on a personal level attending this great show. I was able to introduce myself to some of the talent there that evening. I feel like I helped to support the scene. Which I will always do for anyone who is courageous enough to get up on a stage, all just to make us laugh.

Power Moves

Sun, 06 May 2012 01:43:06 -0400

Okay folks, first, just wanted to say thanks for visiting. I am excited to announce that The Comic Call Podcast is officially in the works. What is The Comic Call? The Comic Call is the name of my dream, its the name of my dream Comedy Club that I have recently decided to strive for. We’re all caught up in this crazy system and the greatest shame, I feel, is when we forget to hold on to what makes us thrive. What makes us thrive as creative individuals. Like many people, I had been living in a world of torturous monotony. Monday to Friday grind, week in, week out, without any real path. The saddest thing, I think is when we are working so hard, but without a goal, without a finish line to cross. I’ve learned that this is the most important thing to have when caught up in a job where your heart no longer lies. I now, go into work everyday with a smile on my face and a peace of mind that only comes with setting a goal.

My goal, to open a Comedy Club in my hometown of Toronto, Ontario WILL become a reality one day. Every minute I work I dedicate to preserving the life I have established thus far and the dreams that I have cast out into the future, and am now fishing for at every moment.

The steps that I am taking: To run a business you have to know the business.

Step 1: Stand Up.
For the past year I have been walking around with my fishing net (note pad) in hand. Writing and developing material for stand up comedy. At the beginning of the year I performed at my first open mic, I have performed once more and I’m pleased to say that I feel both were successful. Did I kill? No! Did I make a few people laugh? Yes… That’s Success! The feeling you get when a stranger tells you that you had a great performance is indescribable, especially when it’s your passion. I will continue to do open mic’s and won’t stop until I land a spot.

Step 2: The Podcast.
The Comic Call Podcast will be a collection of interviews with people involved in the world of comedy. Full time and part time comedians, open mic comics, comedy writers and club owners. I want to get to know what gives these people their drive, their passion and their love for the business. By tuning in, I’m hoping that the listeners will be opened up to the vast amounts of comics and people working in the industry and in doing so, may get introduced to what may become their favorite comedian or comedy club one day. The goal is to help promote and support one another and to open up new doors and connections with all people who share a love for comedy and most importantly… Laughter.

Step 3: The Club
Calling All Comics!!! To “The Comic Call” Comedy Club… Where we’re Dead Serious… About comedy!!!l
The third and final step to my wonderfully mad, dream of mine will definitely take time to manifest into reality. The place will be the type which is referred to as a “dive” or a “classy (or in most cases a classless) joint”. I want to provide a place in Toronto that breeds comedians and a definite name for comedy in this city to which the likes have never been achieved before. This art form has been around for longer then you would think and it is now blasting off in a whole new era. This club will have a weekly show dedicated to what I “Reefer” to as “The Smoke Show” (not cigarettes, silly), to support the marijuana movement, and offer like minded individuals a safe place to toke up and laugh! Needless to say, where there are drinks and herbs, there will be munchies. Which I will offer in the form of the best home made pizza pies to ever come out of a Sicilian’s kitchen. My Mom & Pop will be serving up slices on the street level of the club or served at your table. “Slice & A Pop” pizzeria where you can get a slice and a pop, made by my Pop. No need to worry, though. You can always make it a slice and a “wobbly pop”, too. I know this sounds like a lot, but it’s my dream. If you’re going to dream, why would it be anything but BIG.

Special shout out to @JoeRogan, @AriShaffir, @DuncanTrussel and Joey ‘COCO’ Diaz @MadFlavor, who’s comedy and podcasts have reconnected me with that dream I had, ever since I realized I was the class clown. These guys, these LEGENDS of comedy are changing the game. Which is why I call them: “The Four Horsemen Of Comedy.” I can’t forget the “PodFather” (IL PodRino in Sicilian)?@Redban, all of the #Deathsquad affiliated comics (far too many to name), and last but definitely not least the #DeathsquadFamily of fans kicking it on twitter. This group of fans have been a highlight of my life for over a year, a group of positive, like minded individuals, who are constantly sharing jokes, knowledge, inspiration and encouragement to all of their followers. I never considered I would ever start calling someone I met on twitter a friend until I found my “following”… And all the ones I “follow”.

Stop Sleeping… Start Dreaming!

PEACE!!!

P.S. You can come check me on Twitter @TheComicCall where I’ll be getting started with posting links to funny videos, blogs, pictures, quotes from comedians (of the now and past), and podcasts. I’ll be blogging more regularly on clubs I have visited, shows and Comedians I’ve seen.

Thanks,
@jOeRangutan

Okay seriously now,
BYE EVERYONE!!!

And This Is Your Cousin...

Mon, 14 Nov 2011 19:15:00 -0500

I’m Sicilian, everything about me is Sicilian. Except for where i was born. But not only that, my parents actually both came from the same villiage. No, they aren’t cousins. Actually thats a lie. But not the kind of cousins that give me weird looking eyes that look like they’re bulging out of my head, type of lie. They’re cousins through marriage. When i was a kid every time they’d take me “visiting” I’d get introduced to someone new and mom would say “and this is your cousin Salvatore” Everyone was my fucking cousin. I just thought it was a nice thing to call people from the same village. But thats what a paisan is, all these fucking people were actually my cousins. The way I knows it, your cousin is the daugther or son of your uncle or aunt, right? Well not with Sicilians, mom was nice though, she would always break it down for me. “You see, your Nonno Nunzio on your fathers side, his brother Corrado, your fathers Uncle, got married to Lucia, but she died and then he remarried Congetta, who was first cousins with Angelo, Angelo married Francesca, they had a son Louigi who then married Carmella, Louigi went to jail and while he was in jail Carmella had an affair with Michele and gave birth to Guiseppe who is second cousins with Salvoatores parents Gaetanno and Maria. OKAY! That explains a lot. Cause I was starting to wonder why Salvatore over here has freckles and red hair. And that’s when the doorbell rang. Maria goes and answers the door “Oh and here is our neighbors who’ll be joining us for dinner this evening, everyone say hello to O’phelia and Patrick McGroin. I guess Maria pulled a Carmella and took Patrick a little to litterally when he first introduced himself. “Hi…nice to meet you… Pat McGroin”

"“I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.” - Rodney Dangerfield"

Mon, 14 Nov 2011 19:03:18 -0500

“

“I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.”

- Rodney Dangerfield

”

-

I was asked by my boy, my friend, my brother Frank Roman aka...

Mon, 07 Nov 2011 08:38:00 -0500

I was asked by my boy, my friend, my brother Frank Roman aka Hazardous Material to write this poem for one of his tracks on his new mixtape Traveling Through The Time Warp. I’d like to thank Hazardous Material for bringing this out of me and for bringing me back to a place where I can let my creativity flow. Love Ya Bro!

http://hazardousmaterial.bandcamp.com/album/traveling-through-the-timewarp

Photo

Sun, 06 Nov 2011 15:00:00 -0500

Nonno: The First Man To Make Me Laugh

Sun, 06 Nov 2011 09:57:26 -0500

This is the story of an Italian,
From before the time of gino’s.
About an old school Sicilian,
From the village of Pachino.

He lived a life of honor,
A true man to his era.
To be a bit more specific,
He was my Nonno Joe Bellaera.

I remember being a kid,
Begging for stories of the war.
But these weren’t the type of stories,
You probably ever heard before.

Joe didn’t hesitate to enlist,
Ready to stand up to the call.
They denied his right to fight,
Told Joe he was too small.

He stood four foot six,
And he couldn’t grow no higher.
But this man had a grip,
Like a fucking set of pliers.

Because he tended to the crops,
His duty to fight was pardoned.
But it was this turn of events,
That brought me the beauty of his garden.

Teaching me the value,
Of nurturing the earth.
Similar to love he fed me,
From the moment of my birth.

I will never forget the cottage,
The road trips to bobcaygeon.
If only I could read his fate, Written in the constellations.

Quadruple by-pass?
You know the man could take it.
Because when it came to toughness,
Yo Nonno never faked it.

Staples riddling his body,
From his ankles to his chest.
To let his story known,
These are the emotions I confess.

Nonno dying right now?
The thought just sounds absurd to me.
But this would be the fourth time,
He had open heart surgery.

Young and full of hope,
I thought death was impossible.
But when you’re young and full of hope,
You forget to visit him in the hospital.

For the next weeks to come,
Mom was never home.
She couldn’t stand the thought,
Of leaving her daddy all alone.

She’d fall asleep every night,
At the foot of his bed.
Singing his favorite Sicilian songs,
With her palm on his forehead.

Then there came the night,
When she slipped into a dream.
Being visited by Nonno,
Looking the healthiest she ever seen.

Nonno took his final turn that night,
In the game of life which is a maze.
But the man was too stubborn,
And didn’t cross for three more days.

O sole mio,
Is what he’d always sing to me.
Always showing me my roots,
That stretched back home to Sicily.

So the next time you feel the sun,
Burning bright upon your face.
Remember that it’s your loved ones,
Telling you they never left this place.

We've all got Dreams

Fri, 04 Nov 2011 13:47:19 -0400

The whole idea behind my blog is to pursue my dream. We all have one rooted deep inside of us. It has, and probably always will be the easiest thing in our life to put aside. For many reasons. It might just be the selfish feeling of putting all other things on hold to focus on the prize. Or more commonly, the impossibility of it all. We all put the road blocks in front of us before we even try. But I’ve decided to break my first barrier by creatively thinking about my dream on a daily basis. I’ve accomplished enough in my life to know that I am capable of anything I put my mind to. So put my mind to it I will. I know no better feeling in life more then laughter. Which is why I hope to bring it to as many people as I can. Thanks to all the comedians who have taken the long hard road and broken their “impossible” barriers to make us laugh. A truly noble profession. In a world that has enough bullshit in it to make anyone lose sight of the funny things in life. I hope to help bring the laughs one day, in my own comedy club… The Comic Call. For now I’ll just spread the laughter the way I know how. Umm yeah, that is all for now.

"“I guess they’re tough jokes. But there’s lots of things you either laugh or cry..."

Tue, 25 Oct 2011 20:45:00 -0400

“

“I guess they’re tough jokes. But there’s lots of things you either laugh or cry at. And you just can’t cry.”

- Sam Kinison

”

-

You just have to do it!

Mon, 24 Oct 2011 16:33:51 -0400

I’ve been holding this off forever. In December of 2010 I finally hopped on board a train called the “The Future” I swore I was fed up with this push of technology and that I refused to “give in”. Well, gave in I did and with that little bit of Christmas cash in my pocket I purchased my first iPhone. You see, I was one of these guys who was obsessed with the ways of old. Which was primarily inherited from the incredible bond I shared with my Nonno (that’s Grandfather in Italian). I had recently disconnected with a group of some of the greatest friends a guy could have. At the time when things got sour between us I was in this mind set that we were all connecting more. Through the use of the ever more popular text message, e-mails and the new viral social media platforms. Connecting was never easier but it didn’t come without strange senses of dis-connect. We all gradually became more comfortable saying the things we felt through text as opposed to the old fashioned way, a “phone call”. Or going further back “in person”. It didn’t take me long to realize the repercussions of forgetting to put a, : ), or a, LOL at the end of certain messages that could be taken out of context. The ways in which we interpret or convey our thoughts depend on so much more then the alphabet. What about tone, and body language? So even though technology was making it easier to connect with each other it was also making it harder for us to express to each other how we really FEEL. It happened to me, I sank back deeper and deeper into my shell until I could no longer come up with the courage to see my friends face to face anymore. But we were still friends on Facebook : ). That’s why I always preached to my friends and family that I would never purchase a smart phone because “ I only need a phone to make phone calls.” I’d go around reciting the teachings of my acting coach. He’d say, “Behind a keyboard you can be anyone you want to be. You can be a bully, you can be confident and have all the right things to say, but guess what? Real life doesn’t come with backspaces, spell checks, Goggle and Wikipedia. You can type all day but how can I know what you really mean”. Then he would have us start class with these exercises where he would take an emotional statement like “I love you.” And have us all repeat it separately and with a different intent then the previous student. “I Love You.” “I…Love you???” “I LOVE YOU!!!” (Catch my drift?) For the most part everyone did (catch my drift). There was one guy in my life that could put this crazy wave of the future and technology into perspective. It was my older brother. An amazing artists and student of graphic design, who slowly developed into the photographer he is today. Anthony was always surrounded with all things design and was always first to indulge and explore whatever new trending technology was out on the scene. I slowly became fascinated with his new gadgets i.e. the iPhone but stayed with foot steadily in place. I wasn’t budging and that was it. Then he said. “I know what you mean about sticking to the ways of old but things are changing fast. If you don’t hop on board with this stuff then guess what, you’re going to get left behind. Just take Nonno for instance. He didn’t boycott the telephone because letters and mail worked just fine. If he did he would of lost touch with a lot of people. That’s pretty much what did it for me. It was put into perspective in the way wise older brothers know how to do. As fucking cheesy as this shit sounds, I have to thank my iPhone. I have to thank technology because I am truly seeing the potential of connecting with people on a scale in which I can never imagine.

Dead Serious… About Comedy :)

Mon, 24 Oct 2011 16:33:00 -0400

Dead Serious… About Comedy :)